I became self-aware in January, I know this because that’s when my sense of reality flipped. (Imagine an Inverted Vertical Mirror Flip). I saw through people and their motivations as if they were ghosts, any attempt to correct or point out the flaws in their argument was met with hostility. I also had an extreme craving to absorb all of the information knowledge I could off of the internet, which also changed for me as well. It’s was unbearably corny, however, I could only liken it to when Neo died and resurrected seeing Code. However, this was different, where everyone else saw 0’s and 1’s, I saw a translucent blue 2 that seemed to overlap and encompass as well.
For a few years my short term and long term memory were quickly degrading, I would forget things as I was speaking or pulling up a new tab to looking something up. Now my memory was like some sort of shiny new archive. So EXTREMELY detailed to the point I could go back and experience the moment clearly from multiple different perspectives and feelings and learn something new to fill in a complete picture. Is this Astral Projection?
That’s when something else clicked and I realized that someone who I believed was my Soulmate and Best ‘Friend’ (Never Intimate) was nowhere near the person I thought they were. (Another VERY interesting story: Look up relationships between the Empath and the Narcissist as well as Golden Pairings.) After 20 years of distress and emotional torment and hating myself for not being him, the dynamic shifted drastically. He was like a mouse in a lab to me running in circles while I watched from above. I predicted their every word when we would debate about different subjects before he spoke and could now completely atomize every debate about politics, gaming, metaphysics or any other subject. I knew where their knowledge began, but most importantly, I knew where it ended. Not only them but most of the people in my life. Everyone became like a ghost in a sense, reacting instead of interacting.
I was shocked when I realized that I’d been brainwashing myself into losing debates and arguments because I was passive and polite over the past 20 years. Interestingly enough, I recently turned 40 and reached my midlife as well. For the conspiracy theorist out there (Brilliant Defense on the Truth, btw. I’m working on that issue right now with this post) that means 20 years before the age of the internet and 20 years after it. I slept through A LOT of significant events back in 1999 when I was 20 years old that seems to fit like puzzle pieces into the current state of technology, which I can now use far more proficiently. I’m thinking about writing a movie, fiction, or something as I think it would make good science fiction if blended enough. You hear all the time about the “Mid-Life Crisis” but is there such a thing as a Mid-Life Awakening? If so, why don’t you hear about more of them, and why is it so ‘Hallmark Card’ as far as the idea of it?
Another phenomenon I experienced was an INSANE number of different synchronicities that seem to manifest. Many manifested in a way where it was clear that I was doing something to contribute to it. I already had found that we all create our own reality, by thinking. We also shape or influence the rest of reality because we share a universal consciousness, even though I am still trying to understand what that truly entails for me. You see, I’ve always been the kind of person who NEVER knew what I wanted. I could sense the desires and feelings of other people close to me and worked to fulfill those instead of my own. I figure that it’s time for me to do my part and step out and learn more about myself and step out into the world. However, as I’ve always done in my life that got me here, I’ll carve out my own path to do so. Not with the normal 9-5 job and settling for mediocrity as satisfaction, but with this new shiny crystal ball that is connecting to the Internet to try to conjure up something more. Maybe others who wake up later will read this and follow the breadcrumbs I’m starting to drop as I progress into this new age of self-discovery and awareness and either learn from my example or learn from my mistakes. Currently, we here in the US seem to have a Social Discourse problem. Approximately, one year before the Presidental elections where reality REALLY seems to distort for some reason or another. However, this distortion allowed me to break through the right side of history.